Making Lemonade

As I celebrated another wonderful year of my life, I am in awe of creation. I looked back over my life and I am pleased with how far I have come. I am even more grateful for my journey ahead. Life has been good and is good to me and I am sure will continue to be good to me.


Yes, circumstances my say otherwise, however, life is what you make it. I intend to make a delicious lemonade with the lemons that are presented to on occasions. I love me some lemondade.


So, why not start living the life you truly want today. There is no time like the present. Live the life you love, love the life you live, live richly!

Live Richly

This is a special year being 2008 and 8 is the number for new beginning. We are in the 8th month which is new beginning. How about taking time out to look over you life and see the vision for the future. There is no time like the present to have a new beginning if necessary. It is okay to start fresh if you are going down the wrong path. Today your new destiny begins. Seize the moment and live richly.

Time of Reflection

I am back from New York. It was good to see family and friends and have a little fun. I also had some time to reflect on things while I was there. I realized that I have been holding on to too many stuff and not leaving room for new things to enter. It is amazing the shift that happens in your being the moment you realize that and make a conscious decision to let go.

This Friday, July 4th, is Independence Day here in the United States. Since seven is the number of completion and July represents the seventh month of the year. Why not let go of all the baggage, past relationships, and clutter and start fresh. In a past issue, I spoke about using an “Incomplete List.” Now is the time to start checking off those items on the list as being completed. If you take a little time to do things, make July the month to get your act together. Then, you can begin your new life on August 1st.

If you “fail” to accomplish what you set out to do for the month. Not a problem. Simply start again. Take a brief moment (notice I said a brief moment) to analyze what may have gone work and learn from any mistakes. Then work on a different strategy if necessary. The main thing is not to give up. A winner never quits and we are all winners.

Live a Joy-filled Life

Imagine waking up each morning and making a conscious decision that the day will be perfect no matter what happens. Imagine the energy and the great attitude that you will have throughout the day. Our whole being lights up when we choose to be positive. You will notice how things work better and how people have a better attitude with you.

I am pretty sure you have heard the saying that it is not the situation we face but our attitudes while going through the situation that matters. Yes, things are looking rough, the economy appears to be down, gas prices are to the sky, and there are a host of things that can be listed that are not great. How come some people always have a smile no matter what is going on in their lives or in their environment? They choose joy.

I choose joy. We sing a song in church that says, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Let us be grateful for waking up to see another day. Let us be grateful for all the wonderful things and people that we have in our lives. No matter how bad, you think things are, there is always someone who may be having a worse experience.

Let’s choose joy today and every day. Notice how things appear different in your life just because you choose joy. Notice how different you feel and the increased energy that you have because choosing joy increase your adrenaline. Take a break from the status quo and live joyously.

Keys to Living a Balanced Life as a Caregiver - Part 4

Make lists and make priorities. A daily or even weekly list of tasks that needs to be done can help to keep you on track. It may serve as a tool to make feel more in control. By prioritizing your list, you can better determine what you need to do and when it needs to get done. This can keep you on track and can take some of the stress from the caregiving process.

Stay in touch. Be sure that you stay in touch with friends and keep your outside interests. Whether you enjoy having coffee with your friends once a week or you enjoy attending a craft class, these activities can be very important to keep. They will give you the opportunity to refresh your mind and get away from the stress for a little while. This is also a great way to prevent burning out.

Being a caregiver is a very fulfilling; however, it is not an easy job. Some people find that they quickly burn out simply because they do not take the time or effort to care for themselves. This is to the detriment of the people that they are caring for, because they quickly become tired and burnt out. If a caregiver can find a balance between taking care of their own life and that of the person that they are caring for, then they will be able to care for their family member with love and compassion.

So, use these keys as an example of some of the ways to live a balanced life as a caregiver. You may find that you create your own way of introducing balance to your life. As your mind become open to the idea of living balanced, you will start finding new ways to do so. Start creating your new life today.

Keys to Living a Balanced Life as a Caregiver - Part 3

Look for a support group for caregivers. This is a great way for you to get support and information about caregiving. It can help to diffuse the stress and emotions of the entire process. A specialized group for the type of caregiving that you are doing (whether for an Alzheimer’s patient, cancer patient, etc.) can give you inside information about being the type of caregiver that you want to be. A general caregivers’ support group can also be a place of comfort and a reassurance that you are not alone. You may also seek the help of a Caregiver Coach to support you in living balanced.

Keys to Living a Balanced Life as a Caregiver - Part 2

Take care of your personal needs. Make sure that you eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and get enough rest. Ask your physician if a multi-vitamin is something that you should consider. Taking care of yourself physically will help you to have the energy to take care of your family member or friend.

Connecting with Friends

It is good to make time for friends and family. Last week I had the good fortune to hang with one of my friends. We haven't done this in a year. Yes, we email and talk on the phone. However, there is nothing like having that face to face interaction. I am encouraging you and myself to take a little time to be with friends. We cannot be too busy to reach out and touch some one. Studies show that being connected makes you healthier in mind and spirit.

Why dont you call someone you have not seen in a while and plan a time out.

Keys to Living a Balanced Life as a Caregiver - Part 1

A caregiver is someone who takes care of the needs of a spouse, parent, child, or other family member who is ill or not able to take care of themselves. Taking care of your self is just as important as taking care of your friend or family member. There are five things that you need to remember and to do in order to have a balance between taking care of your friend or family member and yourself.

Take time off. Everyone needs a break from the responsibility and stress of caring for someone else. Be sure that you have someone who can give you respite care in taking care of your friend or family member. This can be another family member or a respite care service. Taking this time will enable you to recuperate and rest without having to worry about the responsibility. This can help to decrease your stress level and keep you from burning out.

Develop Your Intuition

A few days ago I was with my brother and an incident occurred. He said to me, “You must start seeing and stop looking,” while pointing to the center of his forehead. My immediate response was, “whatever.” However, I could not get that thought out of my head. So I started going over my life to check whether I am going through life looking or seeing. I found out that I needed to spend more time seeing. I figure, not many people pay attention to this tiny detail that makes all the difference in the world. So I decided to write this article with the intention of expanding your awareness to this issue. You don’t have to agree with me. This is just food for thought that may help you to enrich your life.

On the surface, it seems as if both words, seeing and looking, means the same thing. Some people may argue that looking at something means that you are seeing it. In a sense they are correct. On the other hand, that may not be true. Think about it. How many times have you searched for something and not find it when you are looking right at it.

It is said, and I believe, that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I heard a lady yesterday saying that she can tell by someone’s eyes that they are a walking dead because the eyes look empty. The eyes are not showing any light. One could debate that that person is looking and not seeing. Looking is having your eyes fixed on an object. Seeing could be described as noticing every detail about that object, both surface and implied.

Seeing involves using your sixth sense or intuition; some people say your third eye. Whatever term you use, it means going beyond your immediate observation or lack thereof. It means paying more attention to everything and every situation. I am sure you have heard the saying, “read between the lines.” Well, that is the essence of what I am talking about.

How many times have we let an opportunity pass us by because we failed to see it in front of us? The answer is too many to count. We miss the trees because of the forest or vice versa. We love to say, “20-20 hindsight is great.” Guess what, we are built with the ability to see during the fact if only we take the time to do so. That means using our intuition more and being in expanded awareness as second nature.

So, take time out to develop your inner knowing and begin to see things below the surface. The more you practice doing so, the better you will be at utilizing your skill. Remember you were born with it, use it or lose it. As time goes by you will notice that it becomes as natural as breathing and your life becomes more enriching.

5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Do you mean something to you? Here is how you know for sure that your answer is absolutely, positively, 100% yes:

1. Is your self-talk positive or negative?
Are you constantly talking bad to yourself about yourself? Are you calling yourself names other than your given name? Are you berating yourself for making mistakes? A simple, “I am so stupid” said in a supposedly innocent way can do major damage to your subconscious mind. Next thing you know you actually believe that you are stupid and act accordingly. Do you believe in yourself? Your self-talk must be positive whether you believe or not. Just keep talking positive until it is ingrained in you. I understand that most people grew up in family where that was the norm. However, it not the best way for you to feel good about yourself. You have children, make sure that you are talking to with positive words and teaching them self-love. It starts at an early age. This also means that you do not allow anyone and I mean anyone to talk negatively to you. You are worth so much more.

2. Do you take care of your body?
You know the mantra, good diet, exercise and a good night’s sleep. I can hear you saying, “I don’t have time for all of that.” Well, you don’t have time not to do them. Your body must be functioning at its peak in order for you to feel good. You don’t have to be a “gym rat”, just move your body. It could be walking, yoga, pilates, swimming or whatever you like to do. Just get your body moving. Then there is proper eating, I am not talking about going on a diet. I mean proper food combining and good portion size. Eat well and to the point of satisfaction not overstuffing yourself. I know we do it every now and again because the food is so good, just be mindful that it does not become a habit. We also need a good night’s rest. I know there is not enough hours in a day. However, your body needs to rest, you need to sleep in order for your body to refresh itself, for your brain to be at its best. Think about this, if you get sick, what happens to work that so all consuming to you. It is given to someone else. You come first, trust me.

3. Are you constantly learning or doing self development?
There is a saying, once you stop learning, you are dead. We should be learning something new every day. No one can ever know everything. You may be an expert in your field, however, there is always something new to learn, to discover. Not to mention learning about yourself, growing mentally. Technology is so wide spread; it is easy to be in a learning mode constantly.

4. Do you engage in quiet time with yourself?
This is my favorite part. Some people may say that is just being too unsocial. Guess what, you need to do it to keep sane. Think about it, when you are really in love with someone, you want to spend every waking moment with that person. You talk a million times during the day just to hear the other person’s voice. So, if you are love yourself, you want to spend time with yourself. Time to quiet the chatter in your head. Time to take an internal look and refocus if you need to. Time to rejuvenate, read a book, listen to music, watch a movie, or dance with yourself (you get a double bonus for this one; this could be your exercise). See, you can’t lose with quiet time with yourself.

5. Give yourself permission to play
Yes, you heard me. Give yourself permission to play. We spend our time just working and working and resenting the fact that we just work. You know what, take time to play. Play could mean many different things to each of us. It simply means give yourself a break from working constantly. Remember the saying we learnt growing up, all work and no play makes a Jack a dull boy. That goes for Jill too, okay. I know, you don’t have any money. Get creative in how you play; it does not have to involve a lot of money, or no money at all. Take a walk in the park and enjoy nature. Here comes another complain, it’s cold outside. Play with your kids, if you have any. Play a board game. Eat some ice cream at the mall. Whatever is fun for you, just do it. Buy yourself a present don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Live in the moment, do something spontaneous. Play means you are not working and not worried about not working. If you are like me, play involves going to the spa.

These are some of the ways that we can show ourselves love. Keep adding to the list when you think of something new and drop me line tell me about it. Let us think about these things and work on improving our relationship with ourselves. One the Ten Commandments is, love thy neighbor as thyself. That means you must really love and value yourself in order for you to show love to someone else. The next time you see someone talking down to someone else, you will know that person doesn’t love themself and is projecting their self-hate unto the other person. So, in everything that you do, make sure it leads to you meaning something to you.

Does Your Self-esteem need a Boost?

A simple question which will generally have a simple answer of, “of course, I love myself.” Do you really? We all say we love ourselves, however our actions towards ourselves often betray our true feelings. It might not be a conscious thing but, something that you do habitually. We talk to ourselves negatively; we eat poorly, don’t exercise and don’t exercise our brains constantly. We don’t even keep our spiritual connection intact. Do you engage in quiet time with yourself to relax and get centered? Some people don’t know how to be with themselves. They have to be in the company of others at all times. That is why some of them have to be in a relationship constantly. They have to have someone around to make them feel loved. They are completely missing the point that they must first love themselves.

Are you constantly doing for others and neglecting yourself? You may feel that you are doing good and it is the right thing to do. However, if you really thing about it, you are frustrated and even angry on the inside. You are thinking to yourself, “When do I get the time to do things for myself.” Please recognize that you are in control of you. You are the architect of your life. You must make time for yourself. No one will do it for you. Let me tell you a secret. No one will do for you unless you do for yourself. You must love yourself first before you can love someone else, I am talking real love.

Your Goals Milestones

Are you on track to achieving your goals? At the beginning of the year you set some goals to accomplish this year and some long term goals. No doubt, you set some action steps that were needed to accomplish these goals.

Now that we are nearing the end of the first quarter of the year, it is time for a milestone check up. The following is a list of questions for you to consider in assessing if you are on track with your goals:

• Have you been doing your action steps?

• Have you done a weekly review to see where you need to tweak an action if necessary?

• Have you rewarded yourself on each milestone that you have achieved? Remember you will continue to pursue your goals if you are motivated.

• Have you set up an accountability system with a life coach or a supportive friend?

• Have you been maintaining a success journal to keep track of your accomplishments along the way?

The key is to be able to answer yes to all these questions. If you are not able to answer yes, no problem. Simple refocus and start doing you action steps, a little at a time and you will reach your goals.

3 Steps to Achieving Your Goals

Every year people set out at the end of the year to make New Year resolutions. Unfortunately, only a few people ever stick to their resolutions. People don’t have the commitment or accountability factor needed to maintain their resolutions. We all mean well, we have every intention of following through with the resolutions. A good example is the resolution to lose weight. It never fails, every January the gym is so crowded you can barely find room to exercise. Like clockwork, the gym attendance slacks off by the end of February if not before.

However, all is not lost. We just need to adjust our strategy. Forget about making resolutions. Set goals and become a goal-getter. One you set your achievable goals and start achieving them; you will be an expert goal-getter. Here are three simple steps to setting and achieving your goals:

1. Decide what you would like to accomplish.
Set your goals and do strategic visioning to see yourself accomplishing those goals. The goals should be aligned with your core values. You will be more successful at achieving your goals if they are aligned with your values. The goals should be specific and measurable. For example, you would like write a book. The specific is writing a book. The measurable would be seeing the book completed. You should know your end steps. What will you be doing, saying or hearing to know that you have achieved your goal?

The goals should be achievable. Meaning, you should not have an impractical, impossible dream. For example, having a goal of a million dollars falling into your lap. That is not achievable by any stretch of the imagination. You could start with small goals that are achievable to give yourself the track record of being able to achieve your goals. As time goes on your confidence increases and you keep striving higher until you reach your greatest goals.

The goals should be achievable in a specific time frame. You are not reaching for someday. Someday does not exist on the calendar, which means that you will never reach your goals. I am sure you have heard someone say, maybe one day I will be able to do that. Well, it will never happen unless that person put a time frame on it and work towards it.

2. Write it down.
The goals must be taken out of your head. They must be written down so that they become tangible. Also, you are giving the universe notice of your order. Writing also cements the goal in your subconscious mind. Having the goals on paper gives you a visual to refer to everyday to keep them fresh in your mind. The more you see them and visual them the more they become real to you. Before you know it you will be acting as if you already achieved those goals. Some people even advocate writing the goals down every day as part of your meditation. In addition to writing the words, you can also paste pictures of your goals on vision boards and in journals.

3. Do action steps.
This is the most important step. You must take action in order to achieve your goals. Think about it. If you are seeking employment, do you sit at home and wait for the job to come to you. I don’t think so. You send out your resume, you go on interviews and you do follow up calls. Well, working on achieving your goals is no different. Look at your goals and decide what actions must be taken in order to achieve these goals. Let’s go back to the example of writing a book. Some of the steps would be to 1) decide on the topic, 2) do research and 3) do an outline. You should be doing at least one action step towards your goals each and every day. Each step will take you closer to your goals until you have achieved them.

It also helps if you are accountable to someone. So partner with an accountability buddy so that you can keep each other on track. Your goals are more effective if written in this manner:

It is now March 31, 2008 and I at Barnes and Noble doing a book signing for my book titled, Golden Life Living for Dummies.

Take note that you are writing the goals in the present tense; that makes it more real to the subconscious mind and more believable. Note, that it is achievable; there is a specific goal and a specific time frame.

So, from this point onwards you will be an expert goal-getter and no more making of resolutions. One tip before I go. Please note that I said goal-getter as opposed to goal-setter. A goal-setter is a person who only sets goals and writes them down and does nothing to achieve them. A goal-getter, that’s you, set your goals, writes them down and does the action steps which results in achieving your goals.

3 Simple Ways to Get Out Of Overwhelm

At some point or another in our lives we get a feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes it is for a brief moment. At other times, it last so long it seems like we can't shake the feeling. So we get depressed and start sinking deeper. It is like a never ending cycle, the deeper we go, the more overwhelm we feel. There is good news; we can take steps to dig ourselves out of the hole. The main reason why we feel overwhelm is that we see the huge task at hand or the clutter in our personal space. I invite you to take a look at the following three simple ways that you can get rid of overwhelm.

1. Clear Clutter
   When your environment is cluttered you feel overwhelmed and buried. There is a feeling of being stuck in a rut. I don't know about you but, I feel like I am in the pit of despair when I have clutter. It might not be clutter that you can see. It could be boxes that you are storing in the garage or in a storage closet. I am guilty of storing boxes of "important" papers that I may need one day. I have boxes dating back to 1999, how sick is that? Well, as I am writing this article I decided to start de-cluttering one box at a time. Just the thought is freeing and after going through one box, my spirit is lifted.
   
   The simplest thing you can do is to start cleaning out the clutter a little at a time. The important point is to do it a little at a time so that you can feel like you are accomplishing something. If it helps, you could make a list of the things that needs to be organized. Then work on your list one item at a time. You can give yourself a nice reward for each item you complete. Before you know it you have a well-balanced living space.



2. Clear the Closet
   Yes, the closet can add overwhelm to our lives. How many times have you stood at the closet that is full of clothes and say, "I have nothing to wear?" That is mostly for the ladies. Most of us have a closet full of clothes that we hardly use. We use 20% of the clothes 80% of the time. I am definitely guilty of that. Start cleaning out the closet by getting rid of the clothes that you have not worn in six months or a year. It hurts, but let it go. You will feel much better after it is done, I promise. I recently did just that. It hurt to get rid of some of the clothes that I love. However, I did not wear them in over a year. They were taking up closet space for no reason. The interesting thing that happened, which surprised me, I felt so good and even lighter after emptying my closet.
   
   Not only are you getting rid of overwhelm in your life but, you are helping others in need by donating the clothes to charity. Charity definitely lifts your spirit. Start assessing your closet and see what items you can donate to charity. Once you get in the flow you will wonder why you did not do it sooner.



3. Clear Negative Influences
   I believe that this is the most important way to start combating overwhelm. Our minds get cluttered with negative information. Associations with negative people draw negative energy to you. We tend to feel bogged down and depressed when we are feeling negative vibes. Minimize if not eliminate people who have a negative spirit from your circle. This is for your sanity and to keep a clear head.
   
   Throughout your day, as a negative thought pop into your head immediately replace it with a positive thought. We are constantly bombarded with bad news on the television and in the newspaper, and that adds to our feelings of overwhelm. Start by eliminating one day of watching the news and see how you feel. Once you get used to that feeling you will give up the news completely. I make a point not to watch the news. Anything that I need to know, I will know, there are other sources to get the necessary information.

As I have always said meditate morning and night to clear you head and refocus on the positive things in your life.

Attempt any one or all three of the above ways to eliminate overwhelm and you will be glad you did. It is not a one-time process; it is something that must be done frequently to keep your mind and personal space clear. Over time, you might form such a wonderful habit of clearing your space that you never feel overwhelm again.

© 2008 Raquel C. Smith

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Raquel C. Smith, "The Values Alignment Coach," publishes the transformational Golden Life Living' monthly ezine. If you're ready to transform your life into a golden life and start living the life of your destiny, get your FREE ebook now at http://www.goldenlifecoaching.com/unstoppableconfidence.html.